back home now.    Dr released me as i was apparently back up to specifications on my body fluids.  i have to keep drinking a lot of liquids but they gave me a prescription for a z pack and something to help fight the coughing pain-----  guifianison--otherwise known as roobitussin----but with Hydrocodine!!!!  Ahhh.  sorry i cant help but smile at that last word because i am writing to you while fully feelin the effects. 

needless to say im feeling MUch better.   This and the zpack ill have beaten this stuff,,, again, 

they also gave me some prednisone.. i took my required dosage today, but im not so sure but dumping that stuff quick.. that stuff has given me problems in my life.

but im home again, and ok.

Like being put in the hospital... 


yup, i guess NOW i can catch up with some stuff cause i done put myself in the hospital.   All that crap i could NOT get out of my lungs from a week ago has pulled me down with Pnuemonia.  (butchered spelling)    Its been humid... muggy, and raining every other day or two so its just been a total nightmare.    I finally went to the ER last night and they decided to keep me over.   Im waiting on the doc so maybe i can beg him to let me out of here..    

I CANT stand hospitals.  

I figure the other portion is they figure i was a couple quarts low on vital liquids.     I am feeling MUCH better and the fever i had is gone so im hopeful that MAYBE i can get the fuck out of here.  

inm twitchy as fuck right now. 

On the plus side  they do have a wireless internet setup in this wing and i got them to bring me my laptop. I reinstalled full tilt poker and to my suprise i had a real money account that still had 20 bucks on it.   Got myself into a 10 dollar tournament and walked out with 50 bucks.   Nice to know i still have some skill.  think ill go play that some more till they  come take some more blood from me.  Im being told that my Doctor is coming around 8 tonight and MAYBE i can get out of here before they torture me with what they call Salsbury Steak for dinner.   Oh who am i kiddin... I Am NOT eating that even if i AM stuck here.

Well folks.. realized its been way too long and I'm probably in enough trouble already so time to update this thing.

First and foremost it was the total sum of what having your transmission go out on your vehicle to the tune of 1600 bucks plus the grind of having to arrange to get back and forth to work... leaving me scrambling to do so.. the end result of that... plus another 150 for an alignment and a replacment part on front end... leaving me to arrange work transportation again... plus being sick with the flu. Non swine. For 2 days. That's been what's taking up most of my time.

Well apart from coasting on fumes til friday (I have 14 bucks in the account to last til I get my check friday... ) I'm cool now... few more things to pay down, but manageable.

To be honest I haven't even had a chance to near my own computer in two weeks and I probably gonna hate myself when I look at all the stuff I missed on lj... y'all are just gonna have to forgive me....or just smack me on my ass or somethin.


P.s. this was written by some app on my phone called eljay...... which means I typed this whole thing on my phone. Which isn't easy for someone with big ass thumbs like me. Which is another reason its been awhile. Plus it randomly eats your entry if you hit the wrong button. So like 2 entries got eaten. I gave up for awhile.

Its one of those I must be an alien I dont fit here nights y'all. My deep thought of the night is that perhaps as I look out towards space trying to spot which star out there houses the solar system of my home planet... on that very planet is someone who ultimately belongs HERE. Which is just kinda offputting to me..... the Cosmic Castaway...

Been very wrapped up in me own betterment and the problems that ensue in that. Still making good forward progress but there is so much more work to do. But you'll be happy to know I don't mind it so much.

The coolest thing I can say about now is that with technology I have the ability to say "screw it all... I will just go home and talk to my online friends I don't have time for this foolishness!!

That's actually kept me out of trouble a lot....

Trying to reconcile how I'm ever gonna work out the whole " being with somebody " thing when I am cleary antisocial to the level that you could plop someone who looked like angelina jolie with me and if it started to be trouble all the time id bolt.

seriously you can ask about.... I just have to step out and be just by myself with noone talking to me even when I'm with people I genuinely like/love if even if its for 15 minutes. Screamfest comes to mind.

This is just a glitch in the software.. I've accepted it. I've got a weird perfect relationship.... I wanna be there for that certain someone....I just don't want to live together.

I mean we can see each other everyday and we can stay over for extended periods of time and stuff but at any time the well I gotta go bye card can be thrown down at anytime.

Sounds selfish but listen I know I am no day at the beach either. You'd seriously have to love me to put up with me on a daily.... I mean the snoring alone...
Even people that love me wanna kill me on that. Anybody I meet that likes me like THAT is gonna have to be cool with earplugs or an ipod.

I'm gonna look into a "procedure" to maybe help with that but not right away. Not at the expense of some other activities I wanna do.. like screamfest... maybe dc. Yah pleasure before business.

Women what is with the karaoke leanings to grease and gloria gaynor. Rhetorical. Don't answer

So I hear the rumor that Sam Jackson might be on the outs as Nick Fury.


Hmm.

Well I hear Terrance Howard is available....

Man I don't do this kinda thing much but sometimes you just got to stand slack jawed when someone does their job to such a level that you just pretty much have to claim them artists.

This goes to the pilot and crew of that us airways flight that lost BOTH engines and not only made the decision to ditch in the hudson river keeping god knows how many out of harms way... but did such a damn good job of it that the fucking plane may come out of it nearly 100 percent intact....zero deaths. Man. talk about wild blue yonder hero shit.....

And to the crew shit... man that plane was empty in like 90 seconds. Fuck! I don't wanna hear any shit about delays at the terminal in deplaning anymore!!! Hey a job well done ddeserves mention

Sick. Sick. Like you know your sick when your going to work because your fever is down to a mere 101. Its one of those type of sicks that has you turning your pillow over every 15 minutes because its cooler than the charcoal briquette you currently rest your head on. I blame this on the weather. I know that blaming the texas weather is cliche but its been even more sybill than usual this year. Like literally 80 degrees at one point and 8 hours later its 20. My winter coat has been in and out of the closet more times than Anne Heche.

Luckily tho with this new phone I can stay in my bed, surf, view vids , listen to music, yep even porn is a possibility with this phone. As we all know the ability to distibute on demand porn to all people at all times is the true watermark of a great society.

The good thing about being sick? Gets you out of stuff. I mean people won't bother you with every mundane repetitive problemb you have when you look like 10 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag. I mean they do... but you can just cough... blow a snot bubble out your nose and they tend to back up off ya. Sometimes. Seriously I'm considering callin off the whole "wookin pa nub" thing in favor of the much more economical and far less demanding "fleshlight"

Well one flaw of the g1 is that nudge the wrong thing and it posts before your ready! So take 2! I've gotten interested in the potential this thing has and I'm in a good situation to take advantage of that. It has flaws to be sure but it also has massive potential.

I'm also gettin myseklf in trouble socially. Folks I have zero business going after this 23 year old russian fitness freak (oh my god when I hear her speak russian I think I drool a little) but hey I've got her number been to her place (not what you think...computer needed to be fixed!! I certainly took th opportunity to create inroads with her. Enough that I'm gonna ask her to see "the unborn" next week! Please don't let that suck cause hey a scary movie can create possibilitys. She has a bit of a dark evil streak to her plus let's just say she could probably kill me quite easily as she's a bodybuilder. I'm sure that says something fruedian about me but to hell with it. It is at least I think a healthy diversion!

Posting this from my new g1 google phone which is friggin sweet and has gotten me reinterested in the technology. I like the open source software idea of it

 well you have to understand that i HATE the holidays, but if youve been keeping up, you may begin to understand, and you may also begin to understand why im being single doesnt bother me. I have hard enough time just keeping myself upright and mobile.

My New years?? Well i rang in this new year by spending a night in the hospital.. 

I got taken down by the flu and all that implies....Flu leading to asthma... asthma to dehydration... on and on.  So... they kept me overnight, pumped me full of fluids via IV, and got me to where i could breath again.  Im still being pulled down by the flu, but at least i can breath.  

big fun.  Yeah i kinda knew i was in deep shit like day before yesterday... i mean scotty had it, then someone at work next to me had it... and despite all the vitamin B and C i could muster, and halls defense stuff.... when i woke up yesterday i knew i was in trouble.

SO yah...Happy New Year!  Im too tired to go much more in depth now...  maybe later.

Hey you Dragoncon types...   With the new job and all, i just wanted to throw  a feeler out there, i am still on the dragoncon community here, and i had heard that pretty much the hotels had sold out, AND the overflows were already in bad shape. True? Any possible way to still sneak into something decent? 

Im thinking if nothing else, i could be Walter.... and maybe one or two cool other things but first things first.... 

Ill start scouring the proper websites to get the info myself, but i thought id just throw down in open forum as it seems ive got plety of veterans to rely on!

Im going to refrain from another "I hate Xmas" rant, because as im getting older, i guess i am gaining the "Tyler Durden Philosophy" of "Letting that which does not matter truly slide" 

I think im learning to handle an EXTRAORDINARY amount of shit being flung at me with extreme grace... and alchohol. And... well.. yeah.  that.

And in the end, im still just feeling thankful for what i do have, WHO i do have in my life, and feeling a bit better about myself in the fact that its not how many times you get knocked down that matters, its how many times you get back up that defines who you are as a person.  

To start? i had to work XMas eve... altho, i got off early.  And due to the fact i JUST got one check (for one week no less)   All shopping had to be done on THIS day.  

Single people get SCREWED on the holidays.... let me splain.    See if your MARRIED... or even just a couple, or a family, or what have you-- on Xmas you have the ability to do "Gifts from our family"   In stead of trying to stay under a budget of saying 25-30 a person... you can combine forces and spend 60-90-100 on one really "COOL" gift for a person.  then the 2... 3... 4 of you are still staying under budget.  

This doesnt work in reverse.     While the 75 circular saw may be perfect for hubby... doubt it works for wifey or much less thier 7 year old daughter.  So while that cool 75 dollar gift from "your family" makes my jaw drop and go "AWWWWW!!"    me... on the other hand, is stuck scrambling for something that Mommy likes.. something Daddy likes... something junior likes.

yeah.. so...just on the immediate family ?  Imagine having 2 hours to find 11 gifts on Christmas Eve.  yeah. 

BUT... I Pulled it off. GO me.

Then... getting home and seeing that Scotty is in a REALLY bad way.  Hes having massive trouble breathing.  We did breathing treatments as long as we could, but it wasnt getting better.  So.... ended up in the E.R.  

Well... outside the fact that doing an E.R. on Xmas Eve is its OWN bundle of joy, there is the fact that the closest E.R. to my house is the very same one where his mother died in.

However, i was proud of myself in the fact that I was able to swallow this down with a minimal of my own problems surfacing.  Scotty has a problem. Needs Medical treatment. Everything is fine.  Lets get in, let the doctors do thier stuff, and lets get home.

AN ER on a holiday is just a nightmare.... i took Scotty there... was there for about 3-4 hours with Scotty, i had to let my Dad Relieve me while i got something to eat (hadnt eaten all day) and take a break to decompress... then going BACK to relieve my Dad so he could watch my Mom who was getting over an illness herself.  And getting him out around 11 at night.  Scotty was zonked out, my dad was still up and was gonna be up a while, so i was afforded the luxury of getting a drink. 

But i pulled it off. Go Me.

So i buried myself in flirting with the local bartender who happens to be this cute Russian chick named Olga.... man im so in lust with her...
everyonce in a while she would start talking to her mother (Family owned bar) in Russian, and i would just kind of melt.   She could be calling me an ugly motherfucker whos lineage is in question as long as she told it to me in Russian and i would just sit there with a goofy smile on my face.     THe experience helped in taking the major edge that was building up, off.

So thats Xmas Eve....

Christmas...

Then.. there is actually having to DEAL with these people. My family... all together... is something i can deal with in SMALL doses.  LIke maybe a couple hours at a time.  FOr whatever reason, we start to (and i think the feeling is mutual all the way around) we just start getting on each others nerves BADLY any more than that.  Different parenting philosophys and all that.   Towards the end im very Dennis Leary in "The Ref" with lines like "Lady..... if you scream at that kid one more time.........."      

And well... you know im used to Scotty--- when you tell him something, for the most part it gets done.  He might have a bout of teenage forgetfulness, but if you cant deal with stuff like that, then get out of the game.  What im talking about is BLATANT disregard for someone of "elder" status.    Im not talking about bossing people around kinda deal, im talking about...  Well telling a 9 year old nephew to stay out of a shed out back (Nothing good in there... plenty of stuff to hurt a kid... poisions.. stuff like that)  and being ignored... to my FACE.  Literally i had no lock so to get this kid to stay out of there i had to zip tie the SHED door shut. It was THAT bad.

Its not MY kid. If it was it would be on the end of a beating.  And unfortunately, his mom is the kind of mom that if you mention this to THEM... they start going off on YOU.  Also i believe they are a generation of kids that the TV has raised.... meaning while we are looking to decompress with some ADULT TV stuff... i mean things like "Christmas Vacation"  They are wanting to put some silly lil japanese Anime cartoon thing on and are quite content to OVERtalk the TV until that is done.  Then there is the fact that behind all that you have thier mom... who is carefully monitoring the presents given out to the kids because she feels that her kids always are getting  worse gifts than say Scotty is (Never mind the fact that her kids had an entirely different Christmas Celebration over at thier own house earlier.)  so not only is it just Christmas, its a popularity contest.



But a few glasses of scotch... and yea... a stolen smoke break. (Not Cigs... hey... im a card carrying Norml member....YOU give up your antidepressants on a holiday and ill follow suit. Mine are probably just cheaper than yours!!!!)   and i was able to endure all that.

Go me.

Then.. day after xmas... i do have to work, but its uneventful, and traffic is light getting home, so i settle in to enjoy some down time... let the guns cool off.

My Sister is in the ER.  Seems somehow she fractured a rib a long time back (Thanksgiving i believe) but it wasnt bad until she caught cold herself, and the coughing that followed aggrivated the situation... So naturally, by taking smaller breaths to compensate.... fluid built up in the lungs and WHAM... Bronchitis.     So... im now in the ER room one room over from where i was on Xmas Eve, because they Vickyed my sis and she cant drive.  

And the ER on the da after Xmas looked like a scened from an episode of Mash. I mean the waiting room was FULL and there were people that brought blankets and were asleep on the chairs, asleep on the floor, just whereever the thier was room.  It took 7 hours to get her out of there.

But... i made it.. i endured. GO me.    And i am still feeling good... Thankful youknow?   Im employed,  pulled off Christmas, was even able to make my calls and texts to my friends while ALL of this was going on, so... im content that im doing as best as I can under circumstances. Scotty is getting better, and my sister SeemeD to be doing ok last night, so.. cant complain there.

Things happened, i dealt with them. Go me. I think im just gonna try this philosophy of just closing my eyes and jumping thru the fire from now on... if i come out with minimal scarring then its a success.

Go me.

See.. ive seen the trailer for this movie "The Unborn"  *google it*

Hmm...

PLEASE dont suck. PLEASE?   

I mean.. it had some Scary looking visuals that seriously were messin with my head...  and it has Gary Oldman IN it!!!  Zero stones, zero crates!!


But.. it will probably like the other stuff out there.. the trailer will have all the best parts and it will just suck. BUT.. a good new Horror Film to add to the "Scary" collection is probably long overdo.

and I am a bit bummed....    I am going to be able to pull of Christmas, but not the way i wanted to.  I mean everyone in my immediate family is gettin a small gift. I mean much smaller.  I WISH i could pull the ability to do the very personal "Arts" and "Crafts" thing, but sadly my skills in that area are nil. I guess they all got spent on my near mutant X-men Mutant power of precision sarcasm.  

Anyway yes... i SHOULD send cards but.....  ehhh!! that means meeting people! and standing in a line.... forced interactions with people....SHUDDER.

So listen... im just gonna cut to the chase..... HEY.. if i HAVE your E-Mail address i will send you an E-card.   So if i dont have your email heres your chance to give it to me here.  brav0man@hotmail.com is mine....    

and i hope a few of the SELECT others hear KNOW that im not forgetting you either.  Christmas may be coming late for these few, but, for sure... its coming.    Ill probably be making some phone calls on christmas i think....  

see...
Im rrrrealll close to being back up after that layoff time... and i think i have REALLY come across something good with this company. 

See.. i think if i had a girlfriend she'd be able to be the driving force behind making sure all this Christmas stuff got done right yathink?

Quick hitter here because again... been busier than a 1 legged man in an ass-kickin contest as of recent... but still ok.. still exhausted... but in a good way. 

Working is good... 

Once i have got  my feet backon the ground....  i will post more but just bare with me.

now i leave you with my WTF moment of the day.



Latest Batman villian rumor.....



Eddie Murphy as the Riddler.


This had better be another "Cher" as Catwoman kind of misdirect ploy.

as hardly ANY number "3" movie in a series has EVER been good... this seems to be set for failure.

Sorry on the no updates no talky really to anyone really. i am fucking EXHAUSTED....  But in a good way.   I have finished up my first week at the job... im happy yo say i am getting a GOOD vibe here. Lots of chances for advancement....  They actually seem to have a concern about thier employees and the word of mouth from the people that work there is higher than any other company ive worked for.  And it SHOWS in thier benefits.  In just 30 days, i will be eligible for a good health care plan from United Health care, I will have my phone bill removed from my budget (I have me cell bill thru T-mobile),a 401k that matches 100% up to 3 percent and matches 50% on another 2% which ive been told is pretty good.

It also looks like th

And the time off.. i accrue at a clip of 5.8 hours every 2 weeks. Which means that ill have about 80 hours of time by July.......

That means Screamfest is a HUGE Green light... and Dragoncon just moved out of the realm of being totally impossible to a "hmm.. let me look into a few things."    

The major things that hold me up on these things is that everytime i try to attend its been in a situation where i was taking unpaid time off to do so.... meaning that i had to budget out not only the event itself, but suriving a week without pay.... Thats a tough thing ta do and most times I cant  pull it off... 

However i had seen about the hotel having scarce rooms in passing, so.. you know... i think in about 3 months i can start thinking about "luxury" items for myself like that....  could be cool.

Anyway tho.. Holiday stuff. and all that..Jess Rocks...  An Emmit Smith jersey...  UBER cool...



as for me? well.. i got the immediate family--- meaning people i KNOW i will be forced to interact with on December 24th and 25th,taken care of... those others on my list.... you get Festivus presents.. meaning.... AFTER Xmas sometime.

Oh and one more thing... this job---Its created a little seed for perrhaps a longterm goal.

I also made notice that this company has opportunities in Tampa...

Ill be honest--- Tampa... Hmmmm....  That has some of the gears in my head turning..... Tampa....

Lets see where this goes.....

Just a heads up.. FYI....

I am having Festivus. 

This basically takes December-January... the whole two months... And incorporates days that i will SPECIFICALLY set aside with you in mind. So whilst you may not recieve the "Christmas Gift" which is something that shows up by a specific day... Festivus incorporates a concept that you will out of the blue some day between December 1st and January 31st recieve my Festivus greetings.

See.. thats a NICER way of me saying "Yall.... i just started a new job on Dec 8th, and im on zero expense levels to coast to the finish line. 

Im ok, no worries there-- im fed, familys fed, bills paid--- Just need to avoid expense and get some checks coming back in.  

This is just one of those things that i just have to do... cant be helped, but Im actually excited at the prospect of getting back to work, as ive gotten a positive buzz about this place. 
 
Its a counting blessings time this time of year, so this has been a good holiday season.. I knew i was employed before thanksgiving, and i find that ill be able to celebrate Xmas well, albeit maybe a little after the date.

This is one of those things im gonna throw out there and just put my belief right into someones face-- and with a rider on this statement that from henceforth if you oppose my viewpoint we have a preexisting understanding that we are going to just have to agree to disagree.


The whole god thing... christian/athiest gambit....  take whatever position you have and stand FIRM to it........

BUT....

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/12/05/atheists.christmas/index.html

This?  This is just not helping.  

My feeling is that a TRUE atheist should be content enough in his belief to believe as he/she does, and be fully accepting of those who would chose to embrace religion in their life.

Yea.. you can roll out the numbers about how much harm religion has done to us, i mean that whole... Crusades thing had to suck.
That whole holocaust thing... yeah, religion does need a good PR guy. ( I woulda turned to the pope... However everytime i look at the dude i just see Emporer Palpatine from the Return of the Jedi-- and i know what happens when you give that guy your allegience)

but.. cmon...  you really think your gonna stop.... Religion? All of it? Really?  Wow. id pray for you but that kinda defeats your goal then huh?

And i mean.. Christmas Nativity Scene?

I mean, how about i come over and take a big ol dump on your birthday cake because im not fond of you. 

I mean CMON... its Christmas dude!  Red Ryder BB-gun...  The first Bike. FIrst video game system... Egg Nog.. Mistletoe? HO ho, Jingle Bells all that.  Coordinated xmas light shows set to "wizards of winter"?   Yeah, well, the Jesus stuff kinda goes with it.

You dont have to do the jesus thing in your household but nah.. you dont have to hold it against those that do. 

Remember your from the side that ultimately believes there IS no higher power sitting in judgement of all, it doesnt mean your free to assume that role!

NOw realize that this message is coming from the ULTIMATE of ultimate Scrooge-Grinch of all time--- and take that in for effect.

no i dont really care for this at all... well.. no thats too strong a word for it. Myself im indifferent, howver, i had the misfortune of NOT reading up of what was going on locally, and ended up at a mall that Edward Cullen showed up at. 

My dog when it is really annoyed will make a barking noise that registers on the high end of the scale, and it absolutely breaks my eardrums.....  that noise is matched perfectly by the squee noise of the average teenage girl.   So imagine the headache left when upon turning a corner, seeing this MASS of underage teenage girls all at one time let out a collective squee upon seeing this guy.   While i pondered my INCREDIBLE bad timing later after figuring out what the HELL this was about, i read up on  Twilight.  

Immediately... something about the story felt.... meh....    Something about this stuck out that kinda gave me a "blehhhh" feeling, but i couldnt put my finger on it.  i am the kind of person that when something feels out of place, I cant enjoy the "in the now" moments.  I put this as a flaw to my own person, but thats what happened here.

The other thing is i couldnt quite put my finger on it.   Then i found someone who put it into words for me one of the things bugging me.


"

So is this movie at least romantic? Only in the immature pre-teen sense of the word. Edward is everything that women idealize without actually, really wanting in real life. He’s dangerous, unobtainable to all but the heroine and does things that in the context of cinema are considered romantic, but in real life we call stalking. There are laws against the kind of love this 90 year old man has for this 17 year old girl. And that’s before you even begin to wonder why a 90 year old man who can’t have sex has any interest whatsoever in a 17 year old girl. The film certainly never gives you a reason. I guess maybe he’s just a very immature 90. After all, he keeps going to High School over and over and over again. Inexplicably.

And thats the thing.  See here we have this Vampire... except he doesnt drink human blood, just animals.... kind of like us.  And in 90 plus years his quandry is underage poon-tang he cant have anyway? 

Im sure there is backstory that takes on everyone of thes points but thats just excuse filler to the story....   Its another bad boy fantasy and ladies...   The LAST time I broke into someone womans place to watch them sleep they just filed a restraining order on me. 

Plus... here is a vampire story where almost none of the vampire mythos is followed. i mean as i understand it, not only can these vampires walk around in sunlight... it makes them SPARKLE-sexy!!   Uhm..  This isnt a vampire-its a super hero on a liquid diet.

One other thing that sets me off is that one of these fans of this story... could NOT understand how i would look at them with one raised eyebrow as i just kinda shook this Twilight Phenomenon off with a "Meh" when not but a month or two earlier was just totally touting a superiority complex over me on the fact that she "whats the big deal with Dark Knight... it sucks" 

it means that the escapist parts of Dark Knight is NOT what pushes your buttons..... this Twilight fluff stuff is what does it for you... and therefore, you, miss, are For SURE no better than I, and i want that remembered the next time I sit there and have a 1 hour discussion of why Jonny Depp is ALL wrong for the next Batman Movie.